One Baby

Today was an absolute first. I left the house with only one baby, my little Zeke. Zeke has a hemangioma (kinda birthmark, but still growing and deeper than a birthmark) sort of thing on his shoulder and we had a doctor's appointment to start treatment on it. So we two spent five hours hanging out, just the two of us.

It was so fun to see him on his own, apart from Zay, to be able to focus on one child completely. I realized how divided my attention is, how I so often am looking at them in a compare and contrast sort of way, instead of just looking and seeing them.

Today I saw that Zeke actually loves attention from strangers as much as his brother does. He is just a lot less dramatic in his engagement style. Instead everyone commented on his sweetness. It's true. Zay makes me laugh with delight and humor at his silly antics. Zeke melts me with his sweet, soulful gazes and his infectious and sometimes inexplicable giggle. Zeke laughs for the joy in his little heart more often than for some obvious stimulus.

It's such a privilege to get to raise these little boys, to watch them develop. I love seeing their personalities emerge. I keep finding more and more depth to them. Turns out, they're not simple creatures. They are complete, though immature, humans growing into their full selves day by day. Even at 8 months old, they show hints of who they will be as adults. It's so much fun to speculate. More than anything, I just keep praying for the wisdom to guide them well and to be a good example for them.

Seriously, God gives us children to teach us how to grow up! Suddenly, when you're responsible for another human life, you start thinking about what your life is teaching. It better be something worth learning. My theme verse for parenting is 2 Cor 12:9, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Oh, the train just rolled out of the station. Toodle-loo!